Few artists are so ingrained in popular culture as Elton John. He’s in the drinking water, and it’s near impossible to go through life without being offered a glass. Whether it’s Tiny Dancer, Rocket Man or Your Song, the music is timeless. That being said, I must admit that I was never really a fan, that is, until one christmas back home with my parents. Having nothing to do, I decided to binge Elton’s discography. Do we “binge” music, or is that word reserved for TV shows? I’m never quite sure. In any case, I didn’t realize just how long the discography actually is, but it turned out to be the perfect thing to get me through the dreary Nordic winter. To this day, Elton John reminds me of that christmas, and christmas reminds me of Elton John.

What really struck me as I listened through the discography, was that Elton accomplished something few artists have, namely release six fantastic albums, one after the other, in the span of five years. People may differ on exactly which ones they are, but I think it’s safe to say that Elton John through Goodbye Yellow Brick Road is one of the most impressive hot streaks of all time. The latter is a double album, so maybe I should revise the number to seven albums. It’s a monumental achievement, and you would have to be hopped up on something to pull that off. Oh, wait, he was! But don’t take that as an endorsement. There’s plenty of terrible stoner music to dispel that myth. Nevertheless, it is true that most of his hits are from the early albums, but it would be a mistake to overlook some of the later releases. 21 At 33, Sleeping With The Past, Made In England, Songs From The Westcoast and Peachtree Road are all fabulous albums, and have made their mark on my list.

With so much great music, it’s incredibly difficult to assemble the perfect setlist, but that’s part of the challenge. The concert begins with what I consider to be Elton John’s magnum opus, namely Funeral For A Friend / Love Lies Bleeding. A song like that can only come first, or last, for it not to completely disrupt the flow. I decided to place it first and, as it turns out, Elton apparently does the same. So it seems he and I are in agreement in this case. What follows is one stunning song after the other, all very distinct, showcasing both his vocal range and his varied styles. You wouldn’t think that The Bitch Is Back, Sacrifice and Have Mercy On The Criminal were written by the same person, but there can be no doubt that they all feel very Elton.

What may come as a surprise is that I didn’t include any songs from Captain Fantastic And The Brown Dirt Cowboy. It’s not that the songs are bad, but they’re somewhat underwhelming compared to the impressive streak that came before. Supposedly, the album is an homage to Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, but I never liked that album either, so sue me. Some other notable absentees are Crocodile Rock, Candle In The Wind and Bennie And The Jets. Crocodile Rock has a great melody and a fantastic verse. Then comes the chorus, and it’s as if Bernie Taupin just gave up. Or maybe he just gave Elton the wrong draft? Who knows? Regardless, the “la, la, la” ruins the song for me, so it didn’t make the cut. Likewise, Candle In The Wind is a good song, but its original meaning has been tainted by the Lady Diana tribute, and in the process lost some of its appeal. Now, I can at least see why these songs are crowd pleasers, but I will never understand why Bennie And The Jets is so popular. It’s painfully slow and downright dull. And what’s with the yodel? Also, why on earth is there an audience track? There’s a reason why concerts are so loud. We don’t want to hear the other audience members sing, talk or clap. In fact, we don’t even want to hear ourselves.

For the encore, I could have picked any number of hits but instead chose songs with elaborate orchestration. This is Elton, after all. We’re operating under the assumption that he has a full band with backup vocalists and an orchestra at his disposal. I don’t know whether or not he normally performs that way, but it’s my game, so I make the rules. To me, Belfast, Indian Sunset and Burn Down The Mission would take the concert to a higher level. After this crescendo, however, I picture the lights dimming, with only Elton left on the stage, sitting by the piano. He plays his last song, which according to him was his first real song; Skyline Pigeon. Just him and the piano, as it began so many years ago. He then takes a bow and leaves the stage. It brings tears to my eyes just picturing it.

Please enjoy what I would consider to be the perfect setlist for a concert by Elton John. The last four tracks are the encore.